MY 1'ST VOTE AND THE TERM THAT IS...

I tarried a little before I pressed the blue button. I moved ahead and pressed the blue button again on another machine. This time I thrust my thumb against the button for a little long and confident until the beep sound registered loud and clear, ringing in my ears and echoed in the room. I walked out of the room with glint in my eyes and a cognitive content to my heart and mind. I held my index finger of my left hand in pride to exhibit my nail that has been dotted black. Yes I’ve cast my first vote not waiting more than a year after I’ve come to age. At 19 years I stood a chance to participate in India’s 15’Th lok sabha elections. I made a choice over the governance of my state and my country for the next five years.

It’s been four months since the world’s largest democracy gyrated to enunciate the verdict of people. The black dot on my nail is on the verge of getting erased, and the curtain has been long drawn on the people making a prophecy about the democratic crown prince of India, and the winkles of television channels blaring with breaking news reporting the election circus. The jocular exploits of accusations and self appointed crusaders of humanity have all ebbed, when the elections marquee has been folded in and the election commission has decided to heave a sigh of relief.

The Indian National congress swept the floor of the parliament with a clear majority, and Dr Manmohan Singh was placed on the mantel as prime minister under the flagship of UPA government. Congress harked back to its lost sheen of yesteryears, and emerged as a government ,without having to take coalition tailspins. Thanks to the ‘aam admi’ ,and pro poor mandate of congress, it has galvanized itself to victory.

President Prathibha Patil has vocalized some path breaking measures that the government would do in the first 100 years of power, which was quite commendable, and would be really appreciated if things are set into motion, and emerge out of the papers. Global meltdown and recession asks for special focus on the economic policies of the country. The budget this year comes with more than 6% fiscal deficit, against the figures that register around 3% last year. Inclusive growth is talked about much in the budget, but the high fiscal deficit remains as a great concern. The flawed food security plan proposed is inadequate, and addresses only a pinch of population with limited utilities. The much talked about women’s bill was mooted in the parliament, and looks like it needs to take in some more rounds of battering on the anvil before a stance is taken on it. The sophian carnage in J&K has had the country to look up north, and people are waiting to see how the government does to mollify the ire of people there whose reaction to the incident has been rampant. The education bill which proclaims to bring every child under the umbrella of its services has been passed in the parliament, and all eyes are glued to witness how it materializes. The H1N1 virus moored on the Indian shores, and the pandemic has engulfed a sizable number in its clouds, and taken a toll of a 14 year old Pune girl’s life. The government is showing little gesticulations to handle the outbreak of the pandemic, though some measures have been employed. An eliciting proposal by the government to abolish the capital punishment has got mixed responses from people and concern is expressed from those who think that terrorists deserve no pardon.

Apart from the recession and budget, India’s foreign policy is the subject that is doing rounds in the noetic circles. The prime minister faces criticism of becoming liquescent in dealing with Pakistan. The phrase, “trust but verify” that Dr Manmohan Singh has popularized is not what most of the Indians think, is the veracious approach towards Pakistan, which is showing trivial effort in working towards deserving trust from India. The mammoth amount of money spent on purchasing used aircraft carriers from Russia is nothing but white elephant for India. The nuclear commitments of India with the US jeopardized our entire nuclear mission. The government failed to realize the ostensible intentions of the US to curb India’s growth, and walked into its obliterated clauses. India should wake up at least before it falls into the US radar before it commits itself to the end use monitoring (EUM) that was put forth by Hillary Clinton in her visit to India. The government should observe caution so as not to tangle the relations with Iran. We have to stick to out Non alignment vantage point without getting succumbed to the whims of US, and come forth in playing a responsible and significant role in the world policies. We have to realize, that we are sufficient enough to demand for our rightful bread, rather than live on crumbs thrown at us by the developed countries. The Copenhagen summit on climatic change is a platform where India could make its voice heard and nominate itself to a responsible persona on the stage of world politics.

ALLEGED

The ghosts were swirling and swooping around the air. Each one of them transducing through opaque structures stretching into the heavens. The smoldering figures annulled the laws of buoyancy and meteored down shreaking and griping that reverberated in her veins. They were the ghosts memories hovering above her. She dashed out of the edifice leaving tumult of people's accusations behind her. The upheaval didn't seem to have receded. she tractioned the animosity in the room, vaulting it in her heart, into the open. She was among strangers on the road and the alienating faces pervaded her throughout the alley not showing any acknowledgment to the hurricane raging in her. The only familiarity of her condition is with the ghosts, the ghosts of memory that are appending to the misery. The irony is that even in the presence of her folk, the pupils of the class with whome she associated herself with, she was left stigmatized with the torpedoes of questions shot at her. She was left to take the hammering on the anvil. Even as she moved away from the eye of the storm, the winds seem to have closed on her where ever she went. will the ghosts ever rest in peace for the perjury she has committed before her amigos? Will she come out unscratched from the aftermath of the whirlpool of emotions she is subjected to?

EPILOGUE:
So far I've written things that I personally felt. This is one of the 1'st attempts I made, to give the feelings of my fellomates condition, as i see it, into a tangible form. It is not intended to offend anyone though my classmates would thoroughly understand what am trying to personify [;)]. Friends we gotta let go old things and stay at bay from certain things and move on i guess.

THE HEART OF THE LADY I KNOW

The melodies of ‘Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge’, the description in Keats’s poems, the chilly pleasant evenings, the scenic beauty of the nature, the starry sky with the mood studded in the black canopy makes me feel lonely. Lonely even amidst a crowd. It draws me deep, to look at myself, into my soul.

Then I realize am only a half of the wing yang and that am not complete without my other half. But where is my other half? Have all the men in the world become extinct? Is there no one who could get me interested in himself? Then I ponder on what would be that ‘alma matter’ which would make me want to spend the rest of my life with ‘THE ONE’ and the only one.

The stunts of Bruce Willis, Orlando’s smile, hrithik’s charm and siddharth’s cuteness made me exclaim WOW! But I never wanted to be a rose in their hand. The average sex ratio around my area is around 965/1000. That means am at an advantage to choose from a lot and there is no dearth of hunks, cute faces, good brains, attitude wits and humor. But if u ask me why on earth am I still single? That’s because I ‘vent found the right combo of ingredients that am looking for. I didn’t find the efforts made by the man to win his mistress (that’s me [;)]) worth a nod.

Well being a lady is not a bed of roses. She wears the tiara of pride and dignity. To utter the word “YES” is a herculean task for her. May be deep down in the heart she does admire him, but she restrains herself to receive his love. That surely doesn’t mean she is not interested. It only means that the effort required to win her hand is inadequate. She might even feel apprehensive to trust him, or might be unable to decipher her own feelings for the guy.

This is actually the right time to win the lady. Impregnate faith in her that she means world to you and that she is the perfect better half you always wanted. Put in the effort and make her feel protected giving her a glimpse of how safe she is going to be with you for the rest of her life. A back off at this juncture will only leave sour memories and negative shades about the guy as a playboy when she see’s him in some one else’s company.

If the girl thinks she needs time, give her space and allow her to resolve her issues and fulfill her own obligations to accept the guy in her life. During such times give her assurance that you can wait for a lifetime to hold her hand. Then she would surely seal a promise of a lifetime with her beau.

But guys mind you, if she treats you like scum and your thought doesn’t even cross her mind to hate you, read the signs and back off. The guy can never be anything to the girl. This is how I feel too.

Well customizing the whole theory of what a girl wants, I want to make it more specific of what I am seeking. I would fall for some one with a ‘guy next door’ image, tall and strong enough to lift me in his arms. Some one who can understand my expression in Hindi, English and Telugu. Whose soul ,is sensitive to stimulate to the spiritual fervor and keep religion at a bay, would compliment my soul. In whose company my cheeks always bear a dimple and turn red on blushing would be my guy. Some one who can make me feel dainty delicate before him would be my man. In whose company I feel defenseless and the one who can paint my fortress of pride with the colors of love earns the key to come and live in it. The prince, with the heart of a lion who is ready to cross all the impediments with courage and swim across the current under any circumstances, who sits on his knee with a sonnet on his lips and rose in his hand will win the hand of the princess.

DISCLAIMER: hey guys dont scold me 4 i've included loads of things dat wud hurt ur ego i suppose but yeh generally girls do expect all this. for all the girls who liked it thank you. n those who didnt go n read sum john grey's relation ship books...[:P]

I AM 18

I just wanted pen down a few revelations I discovered in the wake of turning 18. (Well am writing this nearly 6 months after I turned 18.) It’s a whole new world for me, but it hasn’t really changed much for our pot bellied politicians, how does it matter to them if a fresh bunch of vigorous Indians hit the floor to take over the future of India, nor did it matter much to my college lecturers, except for a bunch of fresh faces sweeping in and out the corridors of the department. Well the point here is it matters to me that I turned 18, even if it does not register as an event to the rest of the world, and that now am legally entitled a citizen of India and bestowed on me the freedom, it definitely is a hell lot of a big deal to me. The time I ferried across so far in my 18 years or in the 18’th year in specific has taught me a few new things, that my mom missed out for me to experiment and learn myself and it has eluded certain preconceived notions out of me, leaving me facing a new horizon and hopes of distinct voyages.

If you are wondering what’s in this bandwagon that’s blaring a lot? Then I would say nothing more than the silly teenage quip that’s doing rounds with most of the urban youth but this one is with a personalized and customized touch. I would rather call it my confession or my short biography of triumphs and failures. (If you are wondering why on Earth you are reading a biography of SOME teenager blabbering her private affair public! I would say that you are reading the human mind, and it is surely worth exploring be it any ones for that matter.)

A couple of months before turning 18, I joined an engineering college. (Definitely not THE KIND I dreamed of going to, nevertheless it isn’t that bad after all, only if I turn a blind eye to the conservative ways prevailing in the place.) It was set in a completely different backdrop. I was strictly warned by my mother that my every move would be monitored by my prying relatives or for that matter the rumor mongers in the college who have nothing better do to than to bother other people. Little did I know how true she was and with in no time I found ample of eyes hounding me in every direction. Probably my denial of doctrine made by male chauvinistic society led me to be in the spotlight, and my every step was mocked at. (Oh please am not a sissy and neither am I brooding over the unwanted attention I am getting, however annoying it is.) I realized that they are framed in a fixed mould and despise anyone made of different craftsmanship. (I wonder how reliable those surveys are which claim the globalizing attitude of Indian youth who are ready for a change!) My bubble of a ‘wanna be’ kind of society burst and I had to bend my head and mute my voice many at times to be in the flock. It was the first time that I had to live away from my parents in a hostel. It is probably my first leap out of my safe and well protected cocoon with my parents. This surely has taught me quite a few things, the pros and cons of living on your own. (I hate to fold my clothes, yet am a little glad that I don’t have to hear mom screaming at me for my prolonged conversations over the phone.) Just as my 18’th birthday was round the corners I was swarmed by a group of people whom I could call my friends in the college.( I wasn’t really sure for how long my crowned friends were going to stick together, that is until no new controversy propped up between us or at least until we were not found bitching about each other behind the back and least of all until we didn’t see each other as a potential threat to our own career and popularity- oh common guys face it that’s how it works these days. ’yeh dosti hum nahi chodenge’ kind of species have become extinct.) Thanks to these people who have so to say helped me trim myself to fit the suit tailored by the college folks. (I meant taming myself to the ways of the college.) As the old saying goes ‘compromise won’t last long’, I couldn’t hide my farce of being this submissive lass for a long time. At times I exploded with fits of anger at my fellow mates and ended up using the taboo ‘roadies tongue’ (well the folks featured in roadies are considered to be the ‘stay away from my kid’ kinds for most of the parents.) After coming out of school I realized that the India that’s been blown in the media and the youth that’s been featured in MTV actually don’t make the bulk of India. The true color of India is what I’ve seen in my college where people recoil to an outspoken woman voicing her views without any inhibitions. So it was again another alarm bell for me to keep my language and the content of my speech in check, not to give my grandmother or my aunt a heart attack at least.(bless me, my mom understands me in this matter and I’ve no qualms with her.)

Folks i think i'll end the post here...not because am running out of words...but running out of space...there is so much that i wana spill here...so taking Chetan Bhagat , Tushar Raheja n the likes as my inspiration i wana pen down the journey of my engineering life into a book too....so readers if u really find it interesting keep waiting for the next installment...and for those of you who r happy that it's over here go home and watch ekta kapoor's daily soaps...[:P]

VEILS OF LIFE

The unperterbed pool of glistering water beams with radiance at me as the ray of light touches its surface. The trancparency of the water reflects my mind and the thoughts as i watch the bed of the pond. I thought that the water was pure and seemed like glass that allowed my gaze to travel past the surface and reach the bed.
All this came to a hault with a tiny stone that was hurled into the pond from no where. It hit the bottom of the bed. The ripples reverberatd in my ears and lay before me was the murky water. The disturbed mud particals producing tindal effect was better felt in my heart.The truth struck me like a thunder storm. The transparency was gone.The muddy colour engulfed the whole pond making it opaque and shattereing my presumption.
Truth is not always what what stands before the eyes. It unravels itself only on searching for it. Everything that appears good has sommething else in store to be witnessed. There is nothing permanent in this world. Everything is a prejudiced presumption that keeps swaying with the changing direction of the wind.
The situations, people and circumstances we come across in our life are always not as simple and transparent as they appear. On stiring the subject we discover what is under cover that is hidden from our knowledge.
The unarmed victim to this mirage the life offers, alone is gulty for his ignorance. Life has always been in veils. The water in the pond has something more in the bed just than the transparent water.

WAIT

Batting my eye lashes i keep waiting. Wait seems eternal, untouched and unperturbed by the tide of time. Like the glow of a diamond under the volume of the ocean. The nature of the wait remains concealed from me, giving me a glimpse of its glow here and there around the corner of a bend down the lane i travel. My wait as i percieve it now is for the key to unfold my destiny before myself. That destiny of mine which i am destined to behold.

PAIN

Sometimes in the drift of time we stand alone.....may be not at deserted and directionless cross roads, may be not in the deserted dark woods, may be not in between the deep oceans. It could be amidst a crowd and noise you still feel alone and silence echoing from the depths of the heart. The anguish in the heart burns every living cell from the gut to the brain until the life evaporates and the sensation dies. At that instant nothing really matters at all. The eyes become indifferent to every shade. The pain no more twines the heart. Everything living is reduced to smoke and the soul stands still even in a whirlpool.